prissilawikaq: What I Learned About Love & Relationships ? A Womans Blog

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I started a conversation on FB and it got me thinking, especially after reading this article on relationships.

Here are a few lessons I?ve learned over the years from being in relationships and being single.

1. Being miserable with someone can?t compete to be happy alone.

Too many of us stick with something that doesn?t work because we are afraid of being alone. Why? Ask yourself this question. What about me is so terrifying? Then watch this video for inspiration. See if it can?t motivate you to develop a love relationship with yourself.

2. Your relationship with someone else doesn?t define your worth.

Think about this for a minute. Imagine a 5 carat diamond ring stuffed away in a box at the bottom of a closet. On the box, someone has tossed dirty underwear, scarves and a few socks . It appears no one is aware of the box. It appears no one cares about the box or what is inside it. Does this mean the diamond ring has no value? Or does it mean the person handling the box isn?t valuing the contents?

You are that diamond. Because someone doesn?t value and respect you doesn?t mean you?re not significant. The issue is with them and their actions. Think on this for a minute. Let it soak in.

3. Don?t be a diva.

Even the flattest pancake still has two sides. Don?t get angry over every single thing that happens. Consider your feelings and theirs. Is there something in your SO?s perspective that has merit? Could it possibly be you didn?t see the whole picture? Could their vantage point teach you something about life?

If you realize someone else might ?have a point? and you were making a proverbial mountain, get your act together. Yourself. Don?t wait on them to ?make it better?.

You are responsible for your own happiness. Not anyone else. Don?t lay the burden of THAT on someone. That?s like blaming a child when a parent is unemployed. The child didn?t create the situation and has no ability to change it. The only one who is responsible for your happiness is you. Once you grasp that concept, you will be free to love others in the most amazing way.

4. Don?t be a doormat.

There?s a balance to all things. I know I just told you to not be a diva. I promise I?m not contradicting myself. Sometimes, it really is worth standing up for yourself. Sometimes, what a person has done isn?t in your best interest or is harmful or disrespectful. Don?t accept being treated poorly. Remember ? you deserve respect. And if you give it to your SO, you should get it in return.

Did he stand you up? Make a hurtful comment? Don?t excuse it. Speak up and walk away, if necessary. You are deserving of the very best care.

5. Develop and nurture your own interests.

Don?t drop everything you once enjoyed because you are in a relationship. You can?t give yourself away like that and still be happy. You don?t have to be absorbed by another person to be in a relationship. Keep your identity. Nurture yourself. Continue to love who you are. Keep your friends.

Every relationship has an end. Sometimes, it?s a breakup. Morbid as it may sound, sometimes it?s because of physical death. If you lose yourself in someone else, chances are the relationship will end due to a breakup. If not, I promise you will be miserable. For the rest of your life. Don?t do that to yourself. Accept you deserve to be happy and be full and nurture your spirit.

6. Be open to their interests.

The flipside of that pancake? Be willing to experience the other person?s interests. Don?t be the one who wants it your way all the time. It may work at Burger King, but it?s not great for a healthy relationship. Try something new. Be open to what they would like to do. The great thing about any relationship is it gets us out of our comfort zones and broadens our horizons ? if we let it happen. I recently saw a kid at a birthday party completely unhappy while everyone around him was running around enjoying themselves. Why? They weren?t interested in playing his game. And he likes playing his game all the time. Don?t be the pouty kid. Think of others.

Relationships are meant to teach us and enrich our lives. Allow this to happen. You never know what wonderful thing you could enjoy if you are open to the experience.

7. Be accepting and Expect Acceptance.

Don?t try to change anyone. If you can?t handle their faults and love them for who they are, let them go. You aren?t doing them any favors otherwise. If someone is trying to change you, walk away. True love (and this goes for ANY type of relationship) is knowing someone for who they are, all their weaknesses, strengths, flaws, potential, and loving them anyway. It?s looking at a person with clarity and saying, ?I see this person. I see what a great person they are. I see them on their bad days too. I see them when they are lazy and tempermental. I see them when they are their best shiny self. And I respect and love them. I know they have great value.?

This doesn?t mean you have to accept something horribly wrong. Don?t accept being abused, verbally or physically. Don?t accept poor behavior. But do they snore? Do they have a tendency to be forgetful or late? If this is something that isn?t high on your pet peeve list, let it go. Admire the good things in them.

Remember ? being empathetic and kind goes along way. And, expecting it in return is never too much to ask.